Feel Safe to Stay 11.7.2023

"Is she here today?"
"Not today," I replied.
"And she's home too sick to take any calls,"
I lied.
Out on the playground, counted
Each 8th grade kid
Breathing in and out for my child
The one missing
Tears hid
Perspective shifted going through the day
Every child needs love to feel safe
To stay
I couldn't be with my own kid
But could damn well be there for others
So show up I did
With the broken heart of a mother 

Inventions from Pain

Age 14 so many plans and dreams
Thought they were stolen by memories
Couldn't see the setback was only the start
It was during the fight you found a spark

Pushing and pulling
Each step of the way
Things bent and broken your
Inventions from pain

16 and now look just how far you've come
Faced every battle when you wanted to run
Your light now a beacon for others to see
The pain had a purpose -fired creativity

Pushing and pulling 
Each step of the way
Things bent and broken your
Inventions from pain

You're stronger than many will ever know
You're braver than you may understand
I'm sorry for things that were not your fault
And proud you did not let your story end
____________________________________________
For Addie

You Said You Liked Mashed Potatoes Until I Spilled Them in the Trunk of Your Car

I will test, see who can stay 
I will push until I break 
And then I run 
Far away 

Little jagged 
Pretty piece of glass 
Diamonds meant to cut 
Make me bleed instead 

I might pass by on my way 
It’s just a trip, I’m a fake 
In a quick flash 
Gone away 

Little jagged
Pretty piece of glass 
Diamonds meant to cut 
Make me bleed instead 

Watch me fall away 
Watch me tumble and break 
Watch me I don’t know 
Have I overstayed 
Best be on my way 

________________________
Inspired by EO and AF. 

The Sunday That Never Came

It's getting late I Think I'll turn in That sounds good let's plan When we'll meet again
I got time on Sunday
They do too Okay we'll see you then I Wish that was true

The ticking clock stood still Five days no word until Hey Skid please hop in chat it’s Not good news Hold on I'll be right there Oh %$#*(!) this can't be true We made plans for Sunday you Should be there too Instead we'll gather around to Remember you September took you away Left with a space for Sunday The Sunday that never came ______________________________ In memory of PsychoDragon 9.17.22

Release

Tangled in thorns
I was terrified
I couldn't breathe
God, please release me
With stickers in my eyes
And vines wrapped around me
I cried
God, please release me

So brokenhearted
But I couldn't show it
Covered emotional bruises
And bleeding
I begged God, release me

Tears fell
Angry prayers felt wrong
But God knew my heart anyway

I dreamed of freedom
I dreamed of peace
I longed for love that seemed
So out of reach
I wanted release
I prayed for release

Raindrops mixed with tears
I looked out at the sky
Desperately pleading
God, please release me
Kept quiet, hung my head low
To cover up the guilt
From praying
God, please release me

The paper was signed
I had finally drawn a line
There was no turning back now

Freedom rang
I shook off the shame
Of the thorns that had drug me down
God released me

I found freedom
I found peace
I found love that seemed
So out of reach
I found release
I was released

____________________________________________
Inspired by V.  

Love in Ruins

Fire poured down
I remained in the ruins
Left to mourn
A future that would never be

Everything was gone
Broken and afraid
That's when I found you
You reached to me

With a love I could not believe
A love I was afraid to receive
All the love I had out of brokenness
I gave to you

You made me feel safe
I didn't know love could run so deep
As I gave my all
My love for you grew

And continues to
Each day
You walked me through ashes
I can't let go

I found love in the ruins
Two little hands and my own
You've held
With you by my side I know
We will do more than just rebuild

Wilted

Emotions rising on the brim of uncertainty

I’m slowly being tossed by the wind

Drifting far away

And I’m tattered and wilted

Will you lead me back to you

To the place that I once knew

Can you take this wilted heart

And make it new, bring me to you

Memories replay in my mind of my brokenness

I long to go back and rewind

Drifted so far away

Tattered and wilted

Broken before you I come in search

Of forgiveness

To pardon me of the sin I have birthed

Will I be cast away when I’m

Broken, wasted

Tattered and wilted

I’m broken, I feel wasted

I’m tattered, my God I’ve wilted